Written by Michael

4min read

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1.) I’m definitely within the weight limit, I’ll just wear some extra clothes if I’m not..
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2) Ah the check in lady was erm, interesting.
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3) Hey airport security…….you better catch the bad guys!
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4) Are you technically still in the country once you’re past security?
5) I don’t need any of this stuff in duty free but its discounted so why not…
6) Its also the place you get all those presents you forgot to buy on your travels.
7) *sprays self with 5 perfumes*………Can I help you sir?….. I’m just browsing thank you.
8) Gorping through the windows at this ridiculous slab of concrete. giphy (13)
9) No your zone hasn’t been called up yet, sit back down.
10) Ah the stewardess told them to go back, victory for the rule obey-ors!
11) Trying to flirt with the hot lady at the desk.
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12) Yes I know where I’m going thanks, I’m turning right and walking down the plane until I find my seat.
13) Oh business, they won’t notice if I just sit down will they?
14) I pussied out, one day I’ll be in there and look at the peasants walk past!
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15) Yep, she’s a gold digger.
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16) I don’t care if you walked past your seat and need to walk back, let me past.
17) Nope you’re not going to fit that in there mate.
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18) Lets see if the person next to me is chatty.
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19) Oh god they’re not going to shut up.
20) Fuckkkk, 6 + hours of this.
21) Look there’s my bag! Hey treat it nice!
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22) Spotting the nervous flyer
23) And that wanker who managed to get to sleep before take-off.
24) Then the one you know whose faking sleeping because they’re pooping themselves.
25) Take-off? Nope still taxiing!
26) Take off – look cool, don’t freak out!
27) When the plane drops and your tummy does a little dance.
28) You know it’s all in the laws of physics but you still can’t get your head around how this lump of metal is in the air.
29) Is it meant to make that noise?
30) I’ve lead a good life, I’m content if we crash….
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31) My TV remote isn’t working.
32) I’m going to put my chair back………this could get awkward…
33) Phew they’re asleep they won’t notice.
34) The person in front put their chair back….fuck you!
35) But it gives me a good reason to put my chair back.
36) My seats stuck.
37) Is it acceptable to wear just socks to the toilet?
38) I’m back from the toilet bitches.
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39) Someone shut that kid up…
40) Seeing other airports and then planes taking off is pretty awesome.
41) Spotting other planes flying in the distance and realising your one of many thousands of planes in the air.
43) What can I take from the goody bag?
44) Why is it so cold? I need my blanket.
45) *Spends rest of flight trying to get comfy*
46)Seeing the blackness of space is a whole other level…
47) As is catching the sunset or sunrise..
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48) As well as flying over cities at night…
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49) Looking out the window and trying to guess where you are without using the TV in your seat.
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50) Don’t lean over me to see out the window you moron.
51) Are you going to eat that desert?
52) Stop. Snoring.
53) That one old chap who has a few to many beverages.
54) “ladies and gentlemen we have started our decent”….. this better be a good landing….
55) That was a good landing! I’ll clap next time…
56) When you’ve landed and a lady near you says “That was a smooth landing! In Lanzarote I had an awfully bumpy one”
57) stewardess; “Thanks, see you soon”………. let’s be honest, it’s unlikely.

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